apparently the secret to your success is patron
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
