You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
