Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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