Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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