He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
did you just send me my own nude
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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