so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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