Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
