i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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