Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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