i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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