they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
