I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
