He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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