I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
