Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
