Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
All the doctor said was why
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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