i think i have herpe
just one?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
