He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
