Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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