I looked at my own cervix.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
