he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
