Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
