You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
