beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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