I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
