is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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