sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
