what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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