I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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