My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
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