At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
