I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The adults are the big ones right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
