it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
