I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
