Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
