okay pat passed out under dana's car
id be glad to
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
