I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
