She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
