You just made me feel so damn special
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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