fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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