Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
