Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
