Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He felt like a one man threesome
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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