Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
