I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
