Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
