and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
