Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
