we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
