I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is wine microwaveable?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
