we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
